An evening with Mr X

There’s a lot of back and forth, trying to find a day to meet up, before Mr X and I finally agree on a date to see each other. Sometimes I feel like arranging to meet is like pulling teeth with this guy. I want to see him on Sunday, but he’s going out Saturday night and doesn’t think he’ll be up to it. I’m also going out Saturday night so I find his excuse unsatisfying. The conversation ends shortly after. The next evening he’s telling me he wants to watch a film but doesn’t know what to watch and so my petty ass suggests the zombie movie we’ve been talking about watching together, for agessss. 

He doesn’t take the bait, smart lad, he hardly ever does.

Me pretending to have some kind of humility after he suggests we meet on Wed, meanwhile already making plans for the day lol

The day of…

I’m working from home today, writing reports and thinking of everything I need to get done before I head over to his. 

1) I need to finish inputting all this data or I’ll probably get lectured about not using my time efficiently. Perhaps I’ll lose working from home privileges. 😭 being able to work at home, in bed, clothes-less under my duvet is definitely something worth fighting for!

2) I need to shave. I was thinking about going across the road for a wax, but last time I went I was traumatised by how painful it was. My beautician scolded me for shaving and said I’m just making it harder for myself. Did that stop me shaving again a few weeks later… Nope! With everything else I have to do, I’m thinking I’ll slap some hair removal cream on my legs, armpits and bikini line and that’s it. I’ve also decided I’m not going bare downstairs anymore. I’ll trim, but I’m not a child so there’s no reason to look like it down there. FINE honesty time. I’m a lazy cow, who doesn’t want to spend time mowing the lawn and I’m too scared to let my beautician anywhere near my lady bits again. 

3) I told Mr X I’ll bring round some banana bread, so I’ve gotta make that. He’s cooking risotto, which is cute because I recently told him I’ve never had it and I’ve always wanted to try it. Plus he’s not making a creamy one because he knows I don’t do dairy (well I’m not supposed to). When bananas in our house start turning black, people look to me and they’ll just say “hey Autumn… the bananas are getting black,” as their way of telling me to get to it! Especially my younger brothers lol. I went looking for the bread pans but couldn’t find them, then asked in the family group chat I have with my siblings and my sister admitted they were in a plastic bag by her bed… Unwashed. I sighed remembering when she had put them there… MONTHS AGO!!! She’s been staying at her boyfriends house so I guess she forgot 😑 and her response… “Awks” 

She’s off work today so she’s out getting some new bread pans then making her way home for the first time in agessss. Look how banana bread can bring people together!

4) Pack the essentials! I’m not sleeping around his this time as we had a talk about how badly we sleep when in the same bed. He went as far as to say that last time, he nearly died from sleep deprivation. Dramatic! Then I got dramatic and said – I’m never sleeping in your bed again! I’d rather sleep on the couch, to which he called me dramatic. Then he started teasing me about my attitude and how next time I sleep round on a weekend, we’ll see where I end up, because he doesn’t believe me. I’m stubborn so now even if I really wanna sleep next to him and cuddle. I’m gonna be on the couch downstairs! It’s the principle! And the fact that I don’t like to be wrong lol

5) Stop writing this blog at inappropriate times! I’ve just listed everything I need to do before this evening and yet here I am wasting time. Haha classic Autumn!
It’s about 4:30pm when I get a message from Mr X. “You still thinking around 6?”

I was planning to come at 5 and I think he knew that, but was clearly buying himself an hour so, I let it slide because I was in a good mood. He told me to meet him in the spot where he usually picks me up and when I saw him sitting in his car, for some reason I got extremely shyyy. I can’t even explain it. I got in we said our hellos and I just smiled awkwardly at him for a while until he said- “what?” And I smiled some more and shook my head. 
He engaged me in a bit of small talk, telling me about the shopping he’d done and explaining why he was still in his work clothes at 6 when he finishes work at 4 (he usually always goes home to shower before picking me up). He did a good job of ignoring how weird I was being and that quickly snapped me out of whatever trance I was in. I began talking about his beard (one of my favourite parts of him) and began playing with it while he drove. He knows how much I love his beard. 

When I first met him for drinks he was clean shaven and I wasn’t sure how attracted I was to him, but the second I met him at his house with that stubble I was like ooh maan you fyneee! I remember stroking it and him quickly saying he needs a shave. I told him I really liked it and since then (I think it’s been almost 9 months now), he hasn’t shaved it 😏 When I put my weird/crazy hat on, sometimes I talk to him about meeting up with the beard as if it’s a separate entity to him and Mr X simply goes along with it and will say things like I don’t know if he’ll come without me 😂

Okay enough of the beard talk. Fast forward we’re at his house. No kiss nothing yet. We get out of the car and I’m trying not to feel moody because he hasn’t kissed me, plus I’m starting to feel shy again for some unknown reason that’s actually starting to bug me. Mr X immediately asks me if I want something to drink (such a gentleman). He’s lacking in selection, and offers me vimto, vodka ( I immediately decline) and some drinks from his stash under the stairs. I decline the ones under the stairs and say they won’t be cold, he tries to convince me that they are, because he house is cold, but he sees my face and laughs and tells me I’m soo picky. I decide on Vimto and he tells me to taste test it to make sure it’s to my liking. It’s too sweet so I ask him to add water “but just a little” as he’s adding water I’m like “stop! ahh that’s probably too much now.” I taste it and say “now it’s too bitter!” He rolls his eyes and says “too bad.” I smile and take a gulp, knowing he knows I’m just teasing him. 

I settle into the couch and grab the remote making myself feel at home and try to put on Netflix. I can’t get it to work. He comes in and sorts it out and I put RuPaul’s drag race on. Now there’s no reason for me to choose this show, I’m already up to date. Of course I’m doing it to test him, I realise to some, I must sound like such a nightmare lol. I trick him into thinking that two of the drag queens on stage are female and when he points one out but says he doesn’t know where the other one is, I laugh at him and say they’re all men. He frowns playfully and says he knew it! But did you though? 

Mr X goes upstairs and showers then comes back down. He says he’s going to get dinner started. I follow him to the kitchen and stand idly in the doorway watching him closely. 

“You need to be talking, describing what you’re doing.”

He looks over to me. “What?”

I sigh. “Worst cooking show ever.” This earns me a laugh. “You’re lucky I’m on my best behaviour and I haven’t picked up my phone to record you.”

He playfully threatens to kick me out then calls me over and tells me to look over the ingredients and let him know if there’s anything there I won’t eat. I spy the large mushroom. I smile and shake my head. He knows me too well.

“Autumn, are you sure?”

Me- “welllllll as long as the mushroom is thinly sliced it’s fine.”

Let me tell you, I’ve never seen anyone dice mushrooms that finely before, they might as well have been dust, I didn’t even notice them when I was eating later on. I leave him to his cooking and continue watching RuPauls Drag Race.

While the risotto is simmering, he joins me in the living room. He sits opposite me on the couch and stares at me. He beckons me over and we finally kiss. FINALLYYYYY!! Well we do a little more than that. We don’t have sex though. He needs to go check on the food. I grin proudly as I see his hard on through his sweats. You did that! Way to go girl!👏🏽👏🏽

He comes back once he’s happy with the food situation and we have sex for the first time in like 3 months. Lazy sex as he later described it… He wasn’t wrong. I refused to be on top, I was feeling lazy and he was tired so… let’s just say it wasn’t the steamy sex session I had been picturing in my mind these past few months. However, I must say his foreplay was very good! I’d previously told him he needed to improve in this area and he was often lazy and I wanted longer foreplay… Seems he took note. Mr X tends to do this thing afterwards where he asks if I came and when I say I was really close he just looks sooo defeated. 

He left to clean himself up then came back downstairs and served the food. He studied me carefully as I tasted it. He seemed kind of nervous. It was delicious! He was really pleased with himself and commented that it’s nice cooking for someone else sometimes. After we were finished he offered me some more, but I said I was okay. He then said he was still hungry and that a slice of banana bread would have really gone down well. He was teasing me because in the end I hadn’t brought any. I had lied and told him it was because my siblings had hacked into it, before I had a chance to wrap it up. I have have 4 siblings so it’s believable. The truth is I made 2, one to take to his and one for them. I gave my sister one job!!!! Watch the banana bread while I get ready. I’m upstairs and all I hear is- “oh shit!” I come downstairs… Burnt!! 😭 it wasn’t that bad to be honest, but I had been bragging about how good my banana bread is for agess and I knew that if I showed up with anything but my best standards I’d never hear the end of it lol so I decided I’d bring some next time. Oh and my sisters response to burning it… “It’s not that bad.” “It kinda tastes eggy.” I could’ve killed her, I tasted it, it was beautiful 😩

So with no banana bread and the promise of me bringing it next time, he settled for a bag of crisps. Loud very crunchy crisps. Crunchy crisps that he ate through the movie whilee I was lying on his chest so he was practically crunching in my ear. Now it honestly wasn’t bothering me, but he was soooo self conscious about it. I could tell from the way he was trying to chew slowly. Then he kept commenting about how loud they were and said that they must be annoying me. I said I was fine, but he kept talking about how loud they were- “surely they’re annoying you now?” Me- “nope.” You’d think he’d stop eating them if he was that self conscious, but nope he kept crunching away, until he admitted that they didn’t even taste that good and he didn’t know why he was still eating them.

After the movie, he asked me what time it was. I had chucked my phone across the room onto another chair, and told him to reach for it. He refused as he had just got up to refill our drinks, so I begrudging got up and got my phone. I was being a real lazy cow! I pulled up the train times and showed them to him, asking which one I should get. He passed the test, selecting the one before the last train, and we settled back down on the couch this time, with him lying on top of me while I stroked his hair. He kept saying he was going to fall asleep if I continued. I warned him that he better not, yet I continued. We didn’t have sex again. I kind of wanted to, but I could see how shattered he was. He works soo hard at his job and had just cooked me a gorgeous dinner so I figured, he deserved to just lie there and enjoy the feeling of my fingers gently running through his hair… Not gonna lie I did feel him up a bit though lol.

Mr X drove me to the station and we shared a passionate kiss in the car. He told me to message him that I was home safe. I smiled and told him he wouldn’t be awake, but he said he would be. It was cute, but we both knew that as soon as he got home he was crashing. I messaged him anyway and got his response the next morning as expected. I had a nice time. It’s always lovely seeing Mr X.

-Love, Autumn x

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