Preparing for the talk with Mr X

Drafting this conversation was like drafting a letter, no- it was like drafting the romance novel I’ve been writing forever… I’ve got the main idea of what I want to say and how I want things to go, but somehow putting the proverbial pen to paper is proving to be a difficult task.

I want to be honest, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or bruise his ego. I don’t want to come off as someone who just wants to go around sleeping around with just anybody, I don’t want to lose him as a friend. Then I thought to myself, as painful as it might be, isn’t it better to lose him and feel that sadness for a little while, then to lose myself and live a sad and unfulfilling life.

This is what I’ve got so far:

Hey, so remember last night when you skilfully brought up the subject of me dating? We kind of made a joke out of it laughed it off and moved on, but I want to make something clear. I know we’re not dating, just sleeping together and hanging out, which is okay, but I want to date now šŸ˜Š not you don’t worry you can breathe easily lol. I also want to have more sex! Shocker right?šŸ˜‚ We’re still young after all, and I know I’m unlikely to be able to have sex everyday like I’d like to, but I don’t think that a few times a week or at least once a week, is too much to ask for.  
For the record, I’m not sleeping with anyone other than you, but with dating, opportunities are likely to arise at some point and I don’t want to wait until that time comes and then feel like I need to come to you and have this talk so I’m doing it now. I still want to see you on Thursday, if you still want to meet up. We can keep doing what we’re doing too if you want, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to. As I’ve always said, I just hope we can stay friends šŸ˜Š

How does it sound?

Help/ Advice is welcomed/ needed

Big sigh…

-Love, Autumn x


  1. L. Rorschach · May 22

    Do you think of him as boyfriend material? Do you want to date him exclusively? If so, tell him! This letter makes it sound like you don’t want to. ???

    Liked by 2 people

    • When I really think about it, deep down I know he isn’t the guy for me. I need someone who’s a lot more fun and who’s adventurous in the bedroom, wants to do stuff that I like, with me and he’s not that guy. All he ever wants to do is watch movies, I’ve even tried suggesting other things. Plus it wouldn’t go anywhere as he’s adamant he doesn’t want kids and so I don’t want to waste my time or catch deep feelings which I know I would if we started dating.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. L. Rorschach · May 22

    And if it’s because he doesn’t want a girlfriend/isn’t ready for one, you could mention that you’d ideally like something more from him but realize he can’t provide it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah that’s good actually, I could mention that šŸ¤”

      Liked by 1 person

      • L. Rorschach · May 22

        Good luck! It should be a lot easier because you’re not emotionally invested in him as potential relationship material. šŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I mean I can’t say I don’t picture us together and what it would be like, but deep down I know it’s just fantasy and I want something that’s real. Thanks for the advice šŸ˜Š

        Liked by 2 people

  3. bone&silver · May 23

    Yup, I agree: just be as clear as possible about what YOU need & want, then let the other person have their reactions, & come back to you with their offer or agreement. For me, the most important part is owning without guilt or shame that you want more sex, more adventure, & more freedom. You deserve that. Take it. And you can still be kind to him

    Liked by 1 person

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