I’m fuming… Kinda.
As many of you may have gathered , the magician has consistently revealed his true colours as a prick!!
I’m a person who gives chances.
I gave him an out when I sent him that message about him obviously being too busy for this to go anywhere. Yet he didn’t take that out, he invited me for drinks, cuddled and kissed me and told me he was sorry for his lack of communication, and I ate it all up.
I licked the plate cleeeean of his bullshit, just like I ate up the bullshit he served on our first date.
Damn he knows how to cook up a fresh slice of bullshit pie.
We were supposed to have a date this Friday. The date we had originally planned to be our first. I was really looking forward to it, it seemed like this was his way of making things up to me, but as usual communication went dead. No texts nothing…. But I can see you online though… But I can see you posting bullshit online though… Don’t piss me off.
My original plan was to wait for him to flake on our Friday date and then send me some shifty excuse to which I would respond with this message:
Thanks for finally getting back to me. Better late than never I guess… That being said, you really screwed up by flaking on this date. This isn’t how I want people to treat me, and so, as much as I enjoy spending time with you, we can’t continue. I still think you’re a great guy and there was a lotttt I wanted to do with you and to you lol 😏😋 but I can’t afford to catch feelings for someone who’s *just not that into me*. It’s all good though 😊
However, I met a new Tinderite with potential and he’s free Friday and really wants to see me, so I don’t want to waste a perfectly good evening, being forgotten about, when I could be out with a new guy . So I sent the magician this:
I really wanna strangle you right now and not in the hot sweaty sexy way!! Can you let me know in advance that you’re too busy/forgot/don’t wanna go on our Friday date so I can make other plans please 😉 thanks x
He’s read it but he hasn’t reaponded yet… Shocker!
So yeah let’s wait and see, he’s got til the end of the day, tomorrow morning if I start feeling a little more forgiving… I don’t see that happening though.
So it’s the evening and I’m lying in bed, with no reply, I find myself no longer feeling angry, but upset, hurt even. I know I deserve better, but I’ve always been someone who seeks to understand why people do the things they do. A major aspect of my job is about analysing behaviour, so of course I don’t feel mentally or emotionally satisfied by this ending without knowing why.
Why was he so sweet to me last time I saw him, the way he showered me with public affection even when he knew sex was off the table. Sigh… I’m being ridiculous he probably thought all the affection was his was of getting sex.
I’m an idiot. I should’ve seen the warning signs. I really do think that this is the end of the magician now. The last two times I wrote my goodbye to him, I had hope the lingered within me. Now, I just feel hurt, foolish, he played me like a damn violin.
So for the final time. It’s time to say goodbye to The Magician. When the hurt fades a little, I’ll go back over everything to remind myself of when to walk away. I’ve always had a problem with walking away.
It’s time. I deleted him from my phone ages ago, but Facebook remains. Some may say it’s immature to delete a guy from your life in this way, but I can’t stand to see him online several times throughout the day, and see him share posts and comment on other people’s posts on Facebook, all while ignoring my messages.
It’s not right. I’m so much better than this! Some day someone is going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated. It’s just so draining to be treated like shit by so many men. Sleep with them early or make them wait, in my experience it makes no difference, it always ends the same way.
So I’ll delete him, have a little cry (it’s all therapeutic and it’s more about how I fee about how I’ve been treated by men overall than just him) and then watch “It’s only sunny in Philadelphia” on Netflix until I fall asleep.
Love, Autumn x