Self Reflections & A dateย 

For once I’m not hiding how I feel from myself. I’m opening admitting I feel confused, hurt, a little empty after cutting ties completely with the Magician. I think that being honest with myself means I’ve made more progress in my own self development. Here I am trying to pick out the positives from my encounter with him:

  1. I learned how relaxed I can be with someone new, if we have the right chemistry.
  2. I learned what it feels like to experience PDA and that I like it ๐Ÿ˜
  3. I learned that fuck boys come in many different forms
  4. I learned that I can confidently tell a guy I won’t do certain things unless he gets tested (std test).
  5. I learned I can walk away from someone I really like, if they’re not adding enough to my life.
  6. I had great sex and was comfortable throughout all of it.

Number 5 is a major one for me. As I said in my previous post, I’ve always found it difficult to walk away. Even when I’ve known it was over, the guy didn’t care about me or that I was being used, I would wait for the guy to end things. 

I’m back on Tinder, fishing for new Tinderites. I’ve got a Fri-date tomorrow with a musician. I’m not really into musicians, but there was something that drew me in with this guy. When I found out he’s 5ft8 I was like meh I’m 5ft4 and hate wearing heels so it wasn’t a big deal. Then I saw more pictures from Instagram (stalker alert) and started to question if we’d click, if he’d even like me ๐Ÿ™ˆ 

I’m doing that thing where I’m trying to find reasons not to go on the date. I’ll give it a chance, even though I’m not really feeling it at the moment. It’s funny, I like talking to him, he’s so sweet and his replies are timely, which is what I’ve been complaining about recently๐Ÿ˜…

What’s wrong with me?

I’ll update you on how my date goes… Fingers crossed.

-Love, Autumn x


  1. geminilvr · July 27

    I’ve always said if I could take the features I like from different guys I’d create the perfect man ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck and have fun

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The V Pub · July 27

    Aren’t musicians irresistible? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Barbara Brazen · July 27

    Good luck! I met my boyfriend online only after several awful online experiences. He didn’t fit the description of my “ideal” match at all and that’s when I realized I didn’t know my type but made bad prejudgments. I’ll cross fingers you have similar luck. ๐Ÿ€

    Liked by 1 person

  4. L. Rorschach · July 28

    Yay! Good for you for seeing the silver lining. See, you were meant to meet the The Magician because he taught you some important lessons. But it’s good you’re realizing you need to move onto bigger and better. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Can’t wait to hear about your date. Give the dude a chance!

    Liked by 1 person

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