Cutting ties with Mr X

I know I need to do this but I’m struggling to find the right way to phrase it.

I need to stop talking to Mr X period.

He still messages me and we chat, but I know I’d hate it if the pirate was talking to his ex. He’s a constant reminder of the past, what I wanted and couldn’t have, and what I could have if I wanted, but don’t want anymore (if that makes sense).

I also think that in order for me to really give the pirate a fair shot, Mr X shouldn’t be in my life anymore. Sigh, I hate thinking this but I can’t help but wonder if it’s the right thing to do.


Also, how do I phrase this without sounding like a total bitch??

-Love, Autumn x


  1. bone&silver · September 16

    Hmm; you could tell Mr X you need to focus on your new relationship for a while, so can you contact him again in a few weeks? Keep the ball in your court so to speak? Years ago an old therapist advised ‘No contact’ for 3 months at the end of a relationship, to let the Love/sex attraction die, & then you see if you want (mutually) to pursue a friendship…
    Circumstances vary wildly of course, but that could work for you two? G

    Liked by 3 people

  2. L. Rorschach · September 17

    I like what Gabrielle suggested, above.

    If you want to be really honest, you can continue and say that it’s a bit painful keeping in contact with him because you would have loved to try out a relationship with him had he had a change of heart sooner. Now that The Pirate is in your life, it’s all moot.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ben Wilder · September 17

    There’s really nothing that says you must cutoff communication with Mr X but I think you’re right to give the pirate a fair chance. It would go a long way as far as trust goes, if he eventually finds out that because you like him, you clearly ended things with Mr X.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nina · September 17

    I think conversations like this are much more anxiety provoking in our heads than when we actually have them. I like the above suggestions. I like the idea of being honest and saying something like “as much as I enjoy our connection and value the time we shared, I’m confusing myself when I keep talking to you. It’s best for me if I take a contact break for a while.”
    Idk if that feels right to you but the conversation doesn’t have to be long or difficult. I recently learned that and it went just fine.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. jillianmrks · September 20

    I would phrase it just like you did here. It’s the right thing for everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

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