The Sun

I wanted to dive right in 

But the current looked rocky

And the water was cold

I didn’t know if I’d survive

I didn’t know if I was strong enough 

To fight my way through

Past the waves, past my fears

I didn’t think I’d make it
Even though I hoped I would

And when the sun smiled

I felt his warmth on my cheek

I wanted to know him

Everything

I wanted to dive right in

So I did

And I struggled 

For a while

I kicked against the waves

Spluttered and gasped for air

Prayed I wouldn’t drown

The more I fought the harder it was

Being attacked from every angle

I was scared… No terrified

I knew I was drowning

But I was where I wanted to be

I didn’t want to get out 

So when my limbs grew tired

And my heart grew weary

I stopped fighting

And I let myself feel it all 

Everything

And the sun smiled again

My eyes welled up 

As he caressed my cheek

And dried my tears

I was tired

Relieved

Floating on my back

The current steadied

I looked up at him

And unburdened myself

I said the things you don’t say

The things you don’t dare to

The things the fear keeps hidden

Locked away

I spoke from the heart

‘Til I was exposed, naked, raw

And then he left

Retreating behind rain clouds 

Raindrops fell like tears

And as they rolled down my cheeks

They merged with my own

I let mine fall

Joining the waters that held me

Gently

I buried my face in it’s cool embrace

And looked below at the steely waters

Searching for the bottom- the end

It beckoned me

But hesitated

To give up, was to give him up

To give up the sun

In truth, I hadn’t known him long

Yet I already knew

I knew so much

I couldn’t give him up

And when I felt his warmth once more

Penetrating those bitter waters

And pulling me into his light

I knew I was in trouble

I had dived right in

There was no going back

And when I looked into his eyes

I knew I never wanted to.
Right now it feels like the pirate is the sun, but I’m painfully aware that if you get too close to the sun you can get burned… πŸ€” I think I just want things to work out so badly I’m overthinking things again… What’s new? At least I can use poetry and this blog as an outlet for those feelings.

-Love, Autumn x

6 comments

  1. nbratscott · September 21

    Please keep sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. jillianmrks · September 21

    Nice work πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. L. Rorschach · 29 Days Ago

    Beautiful poem. ❀

    It's normal to overthink and that's okay. It sounds like everything's going well anyway. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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