With plans to meet up, looming, I had to be honest with Mr X when I felt like he still wasn’t getting that I only saw us as just friends. I told him about Island boy and he said he could tell that I liked him. Most evenings he’d ask what I was up to or if I was on another date and I’d say yeah, but it’s the same guy. I think he thought I was mass dating instead of going on several with the same guy.
Anyways true to form he began a narrative that suggested he was still interested and wanted more and just like I predicted it was just like the situation with the pirate, me forced with a choice, I didn’t want to make.
I have such a history with him, he’s one of my closest friends, but I can’t force something, that for me, just isn’t there anymore. There was no choice to make. I mean, I’ve got no idea if I’ll even hear from Island boy again, we haven’t even spoken at all today, but either way I knew I needed to completely close the door on a romantic relationship with Mr X… However, I didn’t know that by closing that door, I was closing the friendship door too.
I’ve written so much about him over the years and the one thing that’s always worried me, is that I’d lose the friendship we built. I don’t have many close friends in the UK, I can probably count them on one hand… he was one of them. He was always there for me when I was really down and he’s helped me in more ways than I can count. I understand why he’s stepping out of my life, but just because I understand, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
This weekend is definitely going to be a hard one for me.
-Love, Autumn x