Reality time check

When I like someone and we spend a lot of time together, it’s easy to forget I haven’t actually known them that long. For example, when I was seeing the pirate, things got intense between us very quickly, we had an instant connection. He travelled down to see me regularly and we went out in London, held hands and it felt sort of magical, especially compared to the once a month/ two months contact with Mr X. Even though only a month had passed, it felt like we’d known each other way longer. People are still surprised when I tell them that in the end we never actually had sex.

The thing for me is remembering that it is just a feeling. You could see someone every day for 2 weeks and feel like you’ve known them for years, but reality check it’s been 2 weeks so acceptable behaviour for the 1 year mark, may make you look crazy at the 2 week mark.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because I met island boy about 2 weeks ago, but it feels like longer. He’s a really sweet guy, I enjoy spending time with him and I love when he refers to me as beautiful or gorgeous… my heart melts 😍

After all the overthinking that was evident in my post “Repeating Past Mistakes,” I decided not to date anyone else. This is not me declaring exclusivity to island boy, I’m not stupid enough to think I’m the only girl he’s seeing 😅 It’s just that dating feels stressful enough for me without adding extra guys into the mix so I’m deleting tinder for now, not that I’ve really used it since we started talking, it’s just still on my phone.

I got some great advice from Geminilvr, who said “don’t just date to date, date others because you want to date, not because you feel you have to.” If I went on dates with new guys, I’d be doing it because I feel like after 2 weeks I should still be throwing my line into the water to catch fish. Like I should be tasting different fish until I find a favourite, a fish who’ll deliberately swim up to my rod as it only wants to be caught by me. 😂 ok so I’m painfully aware of how shit that allegory is! Also, is it even an allegory? Lol hopefully that’s the right word.

Island boy said something to me this morning after I slept over. He said he didn’t sleep well the first night, the second night he slept okay so by the 6th night he probably won’t even notice I’m here. The 6th night huh? 😏sounds promising, but we’ll see. Honestly, he’s the best cuddler ever! Never been held like that before, where I’m wrapped up in someone’s arms almost the entire night, it felt really nice. I feel really safe around him. Also, his kisses are amazing! Even now as I write this I’m craving a long make out session and a cuddle… Oh God, I really like him!! What am I like? 🙈

-Love, Autumn x


  1. notyouraveragegirl363042 · January 26

    I have an incredibly bad habit of falling in love very easily (or what I translate as love – I now know it probably isn’t). My first two online dating run-ins – Gianluca and Jamie – are testament to this. Which is why since then I have been very surprised at myself. I haven’t fallen for any of them. My current two guys – I have no feelings for them beyond the sex and a mutual respect. Maybe that is love and what went before is lust. Who knows. I know I don’t spend all day thinking about them however.

    As for the sleeping over thing, I am terrible for this. I’ve been sleeping in my own bed for so long I find it impossible to sleep when there’s someone else there. After a night over at someone else’s I’m like a zombie!

    Liked by 1 person

    • autumnsinnerthoughts · January 26

      That definitely sounds like me!! I won’t say I fall in love easily but I definitely develop strong feelings quickly, then I get weird or try to create distance which doesn’t work 🙈
      Perhaps one day it won’t be so hard sleeping in someone else’s bed but yeah I love my own bed lol there’s no place more comfy

      Liked by 1 person

      • notyouraveragegirl363042 · January 26

        I hadn’t realised I was probably misinterpreting love for lust because I always ended up in long term relationships with those people. I’m not feeling it with anyone now though which is strange. I’m still deciphering those changes in me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • autumnsinnerthoughts · January 26

        I’m gonna have to go through a period of reflection too

        Liked by 1 person

      • notyouraveragegirl363042 · January 27

        I always say regret is a waste of energy if you can’t change anything. But I am sorry to say it makes me realise all the years I’ve wasted on kissed frogs. I suppose it was part of the journey and I am a very different person to the one I was then. But damn if I’d worked this out at least a few years ago I try not to image who or where I would be now.


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